Surrender

This Photo really is a great way to summarize my life right now. 

I am exhausted. 

        I have sat down to write multiple times lately and each time I did it ended up being about how I was upset or sad or tired I was. I kept writing about how frustrating things were. In the last month since I have written so much has happened. I put my condo on the market which was really bittersweet. My car broke down, I had some medical issues and was really sick , my job situation has been crazy and all of this on top of dealing with cancer in the family and other personal issues. Honestly it has gotten to the point where I cry a lot. I was mad that things kept happening one right after another. I asked "Why Me?" more times then I can count. 

      Finally one night I was home and really upset. I had been crying all night since something else had gone wrong earlier that day. Koda was on my lap and I had the TV on and I just felt more tired then I ever had before. My mom called me then. We talked for a bit and then she told me she felt like I need to write a blog post about being "Happy". I was upset she challenged me to write about being happy since it was quite obvious I was anything but happy. I wasn't going to do that. I couldn't think of what she thought I supposed to write about. Over the next few days I found myself finding times were I was happy however. Sometimes it was just for a minute or two but I found myself noticing them. Thanks Mom for the advice.

     So here I am taking her advice and sharing some of the things I have been happy about lately. 

       At the end of September I was able to go to Vegas with my mom to help her at an event she puts on every year. I have gone the past 6 years with her. It is held at a really nice hotel and we work a lot but I always look forward to spending the time with her. Plus I get to watch her in her element. Teaching and sharing her heart with the ladies who attend the event. By the way if I haven't said it lately let me say it again. Teresa Collins is a rock star and the greatest example to me. We were just talking about how it is freaky how similar we are. I love this woman like crazy! I am lucky she is my mom.

          A year ago at this event I met Alissa. In the past year Alissa has become a great friend to me. We talk a lot about everything from our struggles to our favorite tv shows, (Doctor Who, Downton Abbey, etc.), and so much more. She lives in Vegas and she actually flew to Utah and drove with me to Vegas in a cargo van with all of the product my mom was teaching with at the event in the back. It was a blast having her with me and much better then driving alone. I am so glad I got to spend some time with her! 

      I also got to go to the Imagine Dragons concert this past weekend. I love Imagine Dragons. I know every song and can sing them by heart. I have a friend who asked if they could set me up with someone they knew. He called me and asked if I liked Imagine Dragons and if I would want to go to the concert with him. I was pretty excited. I was even more excited when I found out we were sitting in the All Star Suite dead center at the concert! Seriously it was such a blast. I sang my heart out and had no voice for 2 days after. 

      Also something happened right before the concert that made me smile. I was at my moms house getting ready for the date and Zach was getting ready to leave to go to a friends house. As he was leaving I had just finished getting ready. He was walking out the door and turned back to me and said "Bye Tay. You look REALLY Beautiful." Seriously it made my heart melt! 

       Speaking of Zach, guess who turned 16! Happy Birthday Zach! He really is such a great kid. I was talking to him about starting to date and he told me how the most important thing to remember about dating is to not only respect the girl who you take out but also respect her parents. He says he always plans to make sure the girls parents know what they are doing and always get her home before her curfew. For being a teenage boy he really is so thoughtful and kind. 

      To end I want to share why I named this post "Surrender". 

I saw this photo collage of quotes and they all really spoke to me. 

I especially loved the one in the middle. 

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” - Sonia Ricotti

        I am holding up my white flag. I am surrendering to God's plan for my life even though I sometimes question him. I am going to let go of the things that are holding me down and look towards the future. I know I am going through these tough situations in my life for a reason. I feel like the saying "Kick' em while they are down." applies to my life right now but I am going to stop dwelling on the bad and start making an effort to look for the little thing in my life that make me happy.

       I am now going to challenge anyone who reads this to do the same thing that my mom challenged me to do. Write down what makes you happy. Put in on your blog or in your journal. Hang it on your fridge or your bathroom mirror. It is so easy to only see the bad things in our lives. It really take effort to stop and pick out the moments in our daily life that make it worth staying strong. If you do end up posting about your happy moments please let me know. I would love to read what things make others happy.

 

I end with another quote off that photo. This is how I plan to stay strong. 

"Come what may and love it."

- Joseph B Wirthlin