Today has been a strange day. I had to met with my ex so he could sign some paperwork for me. I thought it would be a quick meeting, some papers would be signed and then we would go on with our day. I really wasn't worried about seeing him and didn't think it would be a big deal. We met and I asked how his family was and he asked about mine. And we ended catching up for a bit.
I noticed we had been talking a while and he all the sudden seemed a bit nervous. I could tell there was something he needed to get off his chest. "So I have read your blog." It had never crossed my mind that he would read it. I should have because you know gossip travels like lighting. He expressed to me his thoughts on it and his families thoughts. The thing he asked is why now. Why was I making all my thoughts and feeling public now. I didn't do a great job of explaining this when I started this so I will explain now.
The past year I have kept many journals. Whenever I couldn't handle something I would write about it. If I have learned anything in the past year it is that my divorce is my baggage that I will always carry with me. My divorce has effected most decisions I have made. And I wrote my thoughts and feelings down the whole time. So most of the posts are journal entries that I have adapted. I choose to share it now because it has been a year and I felt like enough time had past and I was ready to share my experiences. I was hoping people who were judgmental towards me might better understand better.
We ended up talking for quite a while. He told me how he found out through the grape vine about my blog and how when he first read it that he was upset that I was bringing up old history. I understood completely where he was coming from and we talked about it. I just want to clarify again why I write. I write because I felt so alone at times I would have loved to hear someone else's story. I write because it is very therapeutic to me. Not all my posts are going to be about divorce but my divorce is apart of me so I will continue to write about it.
Mainly this is why I write:
This is why I write and I am not stopping anytime soon.
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